she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
