I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
