I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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