This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
