Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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