we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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