gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
