i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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