As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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