Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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