I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
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that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
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I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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