I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
