I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
