Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
