I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
