Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
