I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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