Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
