well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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