sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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