You work out of a Hotel?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
