i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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