i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
