Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
