He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She announced her abortion via fbk
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
