you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
