And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
It's rum buckets o'clock
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
