I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
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