Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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