On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I didn't notice because vodka
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
