He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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