"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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