I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Randomize