Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
