you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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