my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
