I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
