no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Randomize
