Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
