My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
