Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
