fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
