He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
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so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
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i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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