after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
high people should be assigned attendants
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize