you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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