so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i drank out of a bidet.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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