Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize