She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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