Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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