Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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