I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
