So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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