so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
