what if every blade of grass was a penis?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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