we have officially lost it.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
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I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
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No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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