I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Randomize
