at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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