Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Pappa wants mamma naked
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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