Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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