i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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