Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
