Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
